Game of Thrones s5e7 (spoilers)

The latest episode of Ye Olde Throne Games just aired, & here is a place where you can talk about it!

Here's a very sleepy, very selective, very tongue-in-cheek recap:
***
Sansa pleaded with Theon to save her by putting that candle in the tower window. He betrayed her (derpduhhh) & that cute old lady wound up flayed! Like. Super flayed. Really fucking flayed. Ramsay showed off the (dead) flayed old lady to Sansa, just like Joffrey showed off her dad's severed head, thereby completing Sansa's character arc to nowhere.

Jon Snow stayed broody & headed north of the wall, leaving that mean dude whose name I can never remember in charge. Maester Aemon died, & he talked about Egg, & told Gilly to get her baby the heck south, & it was sad. Gilly was sexually assaulted by two Brothers. Sam tried to save her, Ghost actually saved her, & then Sam & Gilly hooked up, because why not.

Jaime talked to Myrcella for a quick minute, & it was very teen "You don't know me at all!" which was kind of hilarious. Jaime Lannister's ultimate foe: teens.

The Sand Snakes & Bronn were jailed up across from each other for some convenient reason, but we did get to listen to Bronn's beautiful voice again! One of the Snakes (Tyene?) kept dropping thick hints about Bronn's arm because her dagger was poisoned. She then sexy-stripped in front of him and withheld the antidote, making him tell her that she was "the most beautiful woman in the world" before tossing it over. Not the Sand Snakes I had in mind.

Melisandre tried to convince Stannis to off Shireen, because creepy murderous crotch shadow reasons. Stannis was not feelin' it, bless him.

The fighting pits reopened in Mereen! They did not look impressive. They looked like a dusty soccer field with one set of wooden bleachers. Nevertheless, Dany rolled up to watch the first round with her new beau, conveniently at the same time Jorah & Tyrion were there! So they all ran into each other, & it was pretty cute.

Olenna went to talk to the High Sparrow, & he out-scary-ed her by a wide damn margin. Littlefinger met with Olenna, & gave her some crafty brothelmaster info on Cersei.

Cersei went to visit Margaery in church jail, just to wallow in her victory. Margaery yelled at Cersei & called her a bitch, which was actually pretty satisfying. Cersei wasn't allowed to leave (I see you Olenna), so now she's in church jail, too. Church jail for everybody! Whoo hoo!

Wasn't Grey Wind Robb Stark's direwolf?The one who was killed during the Red Wedding?
Whatever happened to the conversation between Shae and Tyrion where she said a women wouldn't want to be touched after a sexual assault?

It was Ghost who rescued Gilly and Sam.  Apparently, not only did Jon leave him behind when he went walkabout, he taught him to open doors.

On another note, and jumping back an episode or two, would the Benny Hill music have improved the "Jaime and Bronn Have an Adventure" scenes?

Good call on that name mix-up, y'all! All fixed.

littlethingsthatmatter wrote:Whatever happened to the conversation between Shae and Tyrion where she said a women wouldn't want to be touched after a sexual assault?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Dave_Too wrote:It was Ghost who rescued Gilly and Sam.  Apparently, not only did Jon leave him behind when he went walkabout, he taught him to open doors.

They went with a much less corporeal characterization of Ghost than I was expecting from the books. Kinda surprised he was even visible.

Also, YES TO BENNY HILL ALWAYS! Where are the fanvid editors when you need them?!

I found Jaime and Bronn versus the Sand Snakes, set to the Benny Hill music on YouTube, but I'm not allowed to post the link.  Paste "sand snakes versus jaime & bronn fitting music" in the YouTube search box.  It should be at the top of the results. The music starts at about the 46 second mark.

(edited to fix my missing words)
(edited to refine search terms)

PERFECTION!

Also, I am able to post links! This is weird! I'll go check everybody's permissions & try to fix that! ETA: All fixed! Link away!

Much better with the music.

The Benny Hill music makes so many things better.  Downside is, it's stuck in my head.

I don't know what to think right now. Am just WTF-ing all over the place this season.

Dave_Too wrote:The Benny Hill music makes so many things better.  Downside is, it's stuck in my head.

No kidding!

Cat C wrote:I don't know what to think right now. Am just WTF-ing all over the place this season.

Right? I watched a few clips from s1 yesterday, & it was like an entirely different show! Did they fire all their writers and fight choreographers and hire a bum batch last-minute this season? What happened to that writers' room? Isn't Jane Espenson in there? What the heckie, guys?!

It seems like they are just getting lazy in some respects, such as Tyrion meeting Daenarys (sp?) seemingly a few hours after being (improbably) bought at auction.

In other respects, they're getting silly; Jaime and Bronn have an adventure and meet the Sand Snakes, for example.

I'm not giving up on the show (yet), because I want to see how things work out, but the show runners are making it less enjoyable.

When I want to add the Benny Hill theme to more and more of the show, it might be a bad sign.

I suppose Dany meeting Tyrion was the cut scene at the end of the episode?

Have you seen this?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Okay,this is disturbing.I think I'm going to vomit.

It was really, really bad.

So much for empowered Sansa, and rescue-y Theon.

Other question,wasn't this episode 7,not 8?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Further prove that D&D ignore their own established canon

littlethingsthatmatter wrote:Other question,wasn't this episode 7,not 8?

Dang, it totally was!

This is what I get for writing a recap on a whim at 10pm, without notes or any sort of advance planning! Next week's is gonna be super profesh, though. So Totally Profesh.

No problem
I'm just hoping that we'll get a full epsiode in Dorne.They put out casting calls for season 6 and looks like they are going with the Ironborn next season and the casting for episode 10 suggests the epsiode will set everything up.That leaves 2 epsiodes do get Dorne right.

Here's hoping! I would love to see more of Dorne. When the show was first announced, I was most excited to see Dorne & Braavos, so more of those would be nice. v__v

littlethingsthatmatter wrote:No problem
They put out casting calls for season 6 and looks like they are going with the Ironborn next season and the casting for episode 10 suggests the epsiode will set everything up.That leaves 2 epsiodes do get Dorne right.

Oh good! I was afraid we wouldn't get the Kingsmoot!

Here's an article with all the casting calls
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Oh,and looks like they want to include that fake rape scene from the book that hasn't even been published.Why am I not surprised?

Well they know their fans don't want to miss out on a rape scene, even if it's fake...cuz history, realism, gritty, and on and on.

Like there's no way we'd know Westeros sucks otherwise.