I Hate Let's Plays: Aesta Does Vidya Games!

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I Hate Let's Plays: Aesta Does Vidya Games!

Post by aesta on Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:49 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Do you love reading about the plots of weird video games?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Do you hate having to sit through a rando's questionably amusing Let's Play commentary?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Are you secretly just too lazy to pay attention to an entire Let's Play and blame someone else's sense of humor when the real culprit is your own attention span?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Then you've come to the right place! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Welcome to this thread, where I'll take you on a magical journey through a game I'm playing using screencaps and amusing commentary! There is no set time frame for updates, because I'm lazy! There are no Let's Play videos, because you're lazy! Everybody's lazy! Everybody wins!
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currently playing:
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L I S A
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[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] follows a man haunted by drug addiction and his past as he quests to find the girl he raised, who might also be the last woman on the planet. Either that, or dude lives in a really weird neighborhood. It's like a Mad Max desert apocalypse meets Children of Men meets Earthbound. I've played enough of it to know that it'll either turn out to be a commentary on toxic masculinity and attitudes toward women, or, y'know, total misogynist bullcrap! It's a tough call! I've only played a bit of this weird game so far! It could really go either way! Let's find out together!!

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Re: I Hate Let's Plays: Aesta Does Vidya Games!

Post by Servilius Ahala on Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:28 am

There is no set time frame for updates, because I'm lazy! There are no Let's Play videos, because you're lazy! Everybody's lazy! Everybody wins!

Yay, you understand my pain! *lazily looks forward to your series*
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Re: I Hate Let's Plays: Aesta Does Vidya Games!

Post by Laurelinde on Fri Jul 03, 2015 7:37 am

I would type up an interesting response but, well, lazy. *takes nap instead*

(But no, sounds good, I don't watch a lot of Let's Plays because even if I want to see gameplay footage, I don't really know anything about any vloggers to be especially interested in their banter.)

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LISA: part 1

Post by aesta on Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:23 pm

Okiedokie! It's a Friday, I'm not working, and it's too hot for me to be outside when I don't have access to a pool! Let's do this, fellow sloths! I'll just boot up the ol' .exe and--

Click to read! Trigger warning for abuse and pixel violence:

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Cool. So this is already an uplifting good time! Things are obviously gonna end really, really well here in this game! Let's, uh.... let's do this!! >8[

The game starts with you - a young guy named Brad - volunteering to take a bully beating for your pal.

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If you walk left, you can find a shopping cart and a creepy old scarecrow for some reason???

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Oookay. Anyway, you walk home, past your apologetic friends and some of your jerk neighbors. Seriously. What jerks.

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If you pass your house, you find this guy monologuing to himself about your town. Definitely not creepy or ominous at all.

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Your house is visibly dilapidated compared to the others in your neighborhood. When your walk inside, your deadbeat dad turns off the TV, its noise suddenly replaced by quiet, terse music. He verbally abuses you and throws a bottle at your head before ordering you to go to your room and flipping the TV back on. Its mindless tones follow you upstairs.

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If  you go to the room at the end of the hallway, you'll find your baby sister.

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Your dad's room is locked, so you head into your room and start crying. The game's title appears. You hear a bawling infant, and suddenly, you're an adult with a magnificent head of hair and a Clint Eastwood poncho! I'm down.

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You pop a mysterious blue pill - a drug called Joy - and start tripping your (presumably also magnificently haired) balls off. You hear the baby crying once more, and all at once, you're in a different location holding it.

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Drugs, man. You do your best to comfort the baby, patting its back and tossing it up into the air. You drop it, because of course you do, but you lovingly comfort it and get it to stop crying. You seem like a good guy, if not a particularly bright one.

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You start calling the baby "little buddy," which... is what I call my dog. Oh, Player Character Brad. At least you have your hair. You walk through a barren desert landscape, patting your little buddy on the back as you head home. Turns out you live with your childhood friends, which would be kind of sweet if they didn't appear to be a bunch of lazy drunks.

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They are super surprised to see you with a baby, because they were under the impression that there were no women left in the world.

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They get right to discussing the important stuff, as pervs do.

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You discover that the baby's a girl - pretty monumental - and discuss whether or not to tell anyone. One of your friends suggests telling the Rando Army, who would set y'all up for life and are probably better equipped to care for a baby. Plus, y'know. Merch.

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That sounds sketch as hell. Thankfully, Brad has a bit of a brain, and insists on keeping Buddy a secret. Which... might actually be much less emotionally healthy?

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Sigh. Brad. With the help of your friends, you build a secret room for Buddy and raise her while continuing to struggle with your addiction and the memories of your past - and losing your magnificent head of hair. Buddy's life seems to have some bright moments - including doing everybody's makeup and going on outdoor adventures wearing a mask that Brad made for her - but Brad's addiction takes its toll. He isn't his father, but he sure isn't a good parent, either.

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At the end of this montage, you wake up outside in a pile of bottles, clutching a blue Joy pill. Some dude's stuck up a tree and asks for your help slaying a cute dog with an awesome name.

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Cheese Legs! CHEESE LEGS!! You save the dude (Cheese Legs  Sad ) and choose your difficulty setting - Normal or PAIN MODE. I'm, uh... I'm going with Normal. The dude, named Terry Hintz, decides to join your party after monologuing a bit about how awesome he is.

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You can interact with a balloon for a glimpse into your mental health state. It's... not good.

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You head home, running through a mini tutorial guided by a bunch of Terry's posters along the way.

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Once home, you discover that your friends are dead and Buddy is missing. Your house is, like, lousy with dead guys.

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So many corpses. Terry decides to stick with you anyway.

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High fives if you read that in Muscle Man's voice!

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Impressions so far:
-Seems like this is going to be great for indulging my "creepy dudes get what's coming to them" schadenfreude.
-The dialogue is hilarious/lame and I love it SO MUCH.
-Gameplay is basic-but-fun RPG Maker goodness. Combat so far seems to consist of button mashing - but we'll learn next time that as you level up, you unlock plenty of fun combos!
-I expect nothing on the diversity or representation fronts in a game whose premise is that only men are left in the world. Yeah, that's right - I'm in this for the lulz.
-There are some minor issues with text clipping on the right side of the dialog box, but that might just be my compy. Who knows! I sure don't. It doesn't make anything illegible so who cares! Cool

That's it for the exposition! Next time: More action and fewer cut scenes! [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Thanks, Summer Sale!

RIP Cheese Legs
Gone But Never Forgotten

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Re: I Hate Let's Plays: Aesta Does Vidya Games!

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