Game of Thrones s5e9 (spoilers)

All right, masochists. Let's do this.

***

Ramsay Snow sneaks up to Camp Stannis with a band of 20 men (off screen) & sets all their supplies (&, unnecessarily, THE HORSES, WHICH I DID NOT WANT TO SEE) on fire. Stannis sends Davos back to Castle Black to demand fresh supplies of the Night's Watch. Before he leaves, Davos gives Shireen a lil wooden stag that he carved himself because he's the best dad ever. Shireen continues to be the most pure-hearted ball of light on this show, and Stannis decides to burn her alive, because Lord of Light reasons.

Jon Snow and the remaining wildlings (and the giant!) make it back to The Wall. Jon is pretty emo about how he couldn't save everyone. Olly the walking plot device is mad, because - and I'm sure this is brand new information here - wildlings killed his parents, or something, that one time?

In Dorne, Jaime chastises Myrcella for wearing a sleeveless dress. Doran sends Myrcella and Trystane back to King's Landing, negotiating Trystane a seat on the Small Council. One of the Sand Snakes calls another a slut. Ellaria swears allegiance to Doran as the Sand Snakes look on in disdain. Ellaria has a heart-to-heart with Jaime about how Dorne is totally cool with incest, because TV Dorne is nothing if not sexed up, slut-shaming, and violent.

In Braavos, Arya watches as Meryn Trant rolls up with that Tyrell dude to chat with the Iron Bank, so she follows him around all day with her wheelbarrow full of clams, 100% inconspicuously. She follows him right into a whorehouse, where Meryn turns out to be a big ol' pedophile, because of course he does. He demands a "fresh one" be waiting for him tomorrow. What are the odds Arya tries to pull an O-Ren Ishii, here?

In Meereen, we get to see the real fighting pit! I guess last week was a rehearsal, or something, because this is a big-ass coliseum that looks quite cool. Jorah fights a match as Dany, Tyrion, Daario, Missandei, and Hizdahr watch. Jorah throws a spear at Dany, killing a member of the Sons of the Harpy, and thennnn A BUNCH OF THEM FLASHMOB THE STADIUM, literally killing everyone they can get their hands on, because that makes sense to their larger, political goals. Hizdahr gets super stabbed in the chest by a few Sons, and the rest of our besties are surrounded with no hope in sight - until Drogon flies in and starts cooking his mom's enemies. Dany climbs up on his back and they fly off into the sunset.

(Okay, so it's not actually a sunset. But it could have been!)

Stannis the Mannis hath become Stannins the INCONSOLABLY F*&%#NG STUPID and also, I should point out, HEIRLESS. Because a good king kills all their own heirs! Brother, daughter, whatever. Also, why did Jon & co. have to come through the gate? They sailed back to Eastwatch, then went north of the wall and marched back for drama? Because there is literally no reason for them to have been north of the wall.

D1: Who's the only character whose plotline we haven't icked up yet?
D2: Um.. Arya?
DS: SEND HER TO A BROTHEL!

I don't even know where to start with Dorne.

I assume we missed this opportunity to remind viewers Dany can survive dragonfire because the directors couldn't figure out how to shoot it without her being naked and Emilia refuses to do nudity? So, Drogon'll just scream at her. "Don't pull the pokey man-stick out of my nose, MOM!" Bless you Emilia, you deserve a better show.

aesta wrote:This show is written by the worst idiots.

Understatement of ever.

Oh wow,look how empowering this show is for women.I can feel how empowered the pro-women season is making me!
I really want to see the ratings for this epsiode.
Silvers lining: there's only one episode left!

I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW

Like, look I get that Stannis is not a "good guy". He did murder his brother.

BUT COME ON! And then, to have Falyse, who's been BURN HER for two fucking seasons suddenly come over all MOMBRAIN just UGH.

And of course, Arya can't be terrifying without ALSO being put in sexual peril.

And now Doran's ordered Ellaria to seduce Jaime? OOOKKKAAAY? What does this accomplish exactly? And did he tell her the plan before getting her fealty? What about the Sand Snakes?

Oh man, this season has been so boring and last night was just... yeah. I couldn't even get excited for Daenerys riding the dragon. Also, when she rode off on her dragon did she just leave all her friends in the fighting pit while those people were attacking? I mean, I know the dragon scared them but they weren't totally gone. Seemed very "I'm outa here, you guys fend for yourself."

I guess she is lucky the dragon decided to show up at exactly the right time. Drogon ex Machina?

Stannis, man... Stannis. I'm not even sure what to say. Remember when the writing on this show was good and not just "edgy for the sake of edgy." They really needed to have him burn his daughter at the stake?

I've been terribly disappointed by the whole Sand Snakes story line. I've never read the book but from what I heard they were complete badasses. None of that came through in the show at all. They got one (poorly choreographed) fight scene and spend the rest of the time in jail.

I get the impression that the writers knew this season was kind of boring so they put in a few "edgy" things here and there thinking it would keep people interested.

I am really worried for what they are doing with Arya's character. They established that Whats-his-name likes young girls. I don't like where they are taking this story line.

littlethingsthatmatter wrote:Oh wow,look how empowering this show is for women.I can feel how empowered the pro-women season is making me!

So Powerful! Much Feminism! Being a mom changes the very fiber of your being in an irreversible way that makes you totally weak! You won't be able to burn your daughter even though you've been borderline emotionally abusive toward her & calling for it for the past two seasons! But DADS are strong enough to kill their daughters! Even though they refused to just a few episodes ago! Because THE PENIS! They HAVE ONE! They are SOSTRONG!

There's a difference between creating a sexist world in service to the overarching feminist themes of your work; and creating a sexist world because you're sexist, and claiming the overarching feminist themes of your source material to use as a shield. A man is doing the latter. A man is one weak-ass writer.

rickbman wrote:
Stannis, man... Stannis. I'm not even sure what to say. Remember when the writing on this show was good and not just "edgy for the sake of edgy." They really needed to have him burn his daughter at the stake?

Seems like the general consensus from the public is disbelieve at Stannis burning his only heir at the stake.D&D's defense is "this totally happens in the next book" to which most fans answer "I haven't read it yet but I already know it's an entirely different context".

aesta wrote: Being a mom changes the very fiber of your being in an irreversible way that makes you totally weak! You won't be able to burn your daughter even though you've been borderline emotionally abusive toward her & calling for it for the past two seasons! But DADS are strong enough to kill their daughters! Even though they refused to just a few episodes ago! Because THE PENIS! They HAVE ONE! They are SOSTRONG!
.

Actual comment from D&D about the episode "[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]"

This makes me almost want to watch the show again to see what kind of a train wreck it's become.

...

almost.

Actual comment from D&D about the episode "[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]"

Where's that table flipping emoji when you need one?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I'm a little troubled by the one line though:

For those who are already concerned with the violence in the show (especially violence against women), that may be some cause for concern. Or it may be portend an exciting finale in which the Sand Snakes finally live up to the hype.

"For those who are already concerned with the violence in the show (especially violence against women), that may be some cause for concern"

Already was

" Or it may be portend an exciting finale in which the Sand Snakes finally live up to the hype."

I'll believe it when I see it.

Katherinethegrape wrote:This makes me almost want to watch the show again to see what kind of a train wreck it's become.

...

almost.

I feel the same way! I have a strange desire to pin-point when the show went to hell, beyond the obvious Cersei rape scene and Crastor scene.

As for this episode in particular, just...no.

First off- poor, poor, poor, poor, Dorne. And fans of Dorne. From everything I've heard about how it is in the books, it was supposed to be a really cool place, but D&D used every Eurocentric-imperialist-racist trope in the book.

This episode in particular I had two big problems with though, the first was the scene with the Sand Snakes bickering with each other and slut-shaming each other. It just seemed to me to be part of this overall thing where women are constantly depicted as being in competition or opposition to each other in fiction and are never allowed to be friends or work together. The scene also seemed to play into the whole "strength versus emotions" thing ("Are you going to cry?") and seemed part of "Strong Female Character" being interpreted as meaning the character has to have no emotions and being a heartless ass-kicker instead of just being a human character/three dimensional character. And the slut-shaming...just...no.

And then the other big problem was Ellaria being all "incest is cool in Dorne". Again, I feel it played into the whole "foreign people are overly sexual to the point of immorality". And it further played into the characterization of Dorne which is just "Foreign Sexy Land" apparently.

On the other hand though, I'm glad this plotline is over, because now I don't have to see these watered down characters and imperialist-racist bullshit anymore. I'm not excited that they're doing the Ironborne next season though, because as I understand it that plotline involves rape, and with D&D at the helm the "plotline" will probably JUST be rape.

Then there's poor, poor, poor, poor Shireen. Stannis- what. the. hell. Just flipping characterization like that out of nowhere, with NO SETUP AT ALL? NONE! I always assumed that if Shireen were to be sacrificed, it would be that Melisandre and Selyse team-up and sacrificed her for Stannis' "own good" (in their minds), not this. The show in general has been incredibly unfair to Stannis, I think, always portraying him as an amoral and unfeeling jerk. This is just yet another instance of that.

And then having Arya be in a sexual situation like that? No. Just no. What the hell is wrong with D&D? Can they not write an episode without forced or coercive sex being a topic?

The other stuff was meh. It was kind of nice to see a side-sword/rapier versus longsword fight (couldn't tell if it was a side-sword or rapier- the hilt looked side-sword but the blade seemed too thin, but I guess it could be one of those transitional swords), even if it wasn't all that accurate or well choreographed. As for the dragon, I get that it was supposed to be a "wow" moment, but I am so done with this show I'm just not feeling it Mr. Krabs.